“May the best of your past, be the worst of your future.” –Old Irish Blessing----------stumbled up ramblings...

As we valiantly roll into May and get into the full swing of Spring, I revisited some old writings from the beginning of this year.  Here is just one random writing I happened to stumble upon from the 2nd of January.

This isn't something I would usually post, but  I feel as if I have already come so far since writing this, and thought it might be a good reminder of the things I am holding myself to this year.  I'd love to hear some of your resolutions that you have stuck with this year.  And so it begins...

As one year comes to an end and as we sit on the brink of a new decade, I can’t help but to look to the past.  There are a few things that I’ve come to realize in the past year.  Although I understand that acknowledgement and realization is the first step in overcoming any “obstacles” (or at least that what I’m calling them.)  there is a huge and I mean HUGE difference in knowing what you need to do and actually doing what you need to do.  Such as…I sit here on my couch in my comfy, black, stretchy workout pants, t-shirt, and uggs (an outfit that doesn’t restrict my growing waist at this moment) KNOWING that I need to get off my rear and clean my apartment, but making that first step….nope…can’t do it.  While in 2010 I have come to “learn” some things, in 2011 I’m going to try to “apply” some things.  How’s that?  The Universe rewards action right?  I’m going to just be positive and accept that last statement and hope for the best.  Fingers crossed.  Here are a few lessons I’ve learned over the past year and hope to apply next year…

Lesson # 1:

Some things you can’t fix and aren’t meant to be.  Sometimes it’s best to acknowledge, accept, and move on.  See, this one is a very hard one for me.  I’m a fixer.  A problem solver, if you will (not to mention an enormous control freak.)  So you can see how this is a VERY hard lesson for me to acknowledge, let alone apply.  But, I know it is true.  I don’t like to leave things unsaid or ends loose in any way, shape, or form.  But, one huge lesson I’ve learned this year is that some things are better left unsaid, unfinished, and, like I said earlier, are meant to be left as such.   

Lesson # 2:

Before I can truly love someone else I have to love that girl in the mirror first.  This one is DEFINATLEY easier said than done.  I think I’m a girl with a pretty healthy self esteem, but when I start doubting the things that I deserve and the relationships I am capable of having, I realize that I seriously could use a boost in the this department. 

Lesson # 3:

Faith.  Having faith that everything will work out and things are just as they should be.  While I know this to be true, I find myself examining my past wondering what I could have done differently, should have done differently, and before I know it I’m asking myself “Have I completely screwed up?”  No.  The answer is always no.  Things are just as they are supposed to be.  All is well.  Period.  On top of being a ginormous control freak I happen to be one of the biggest worry warts I know.

I know that 2011 will be the best year yet as I attempt to let go, love myself, and have a little faith.

Wishing you light, love, and all of the above.